There is the cessation of suffering.
The cessation of suffering can be realised.
The cessation of suffering has been realised.
The third noble truth offers us the comfort of confirming that it is possible to end suffering. By cultivating a reflective mind, it is possible to see clearly what is happening so that we can release delusions and come into contact with truth (Venerable Ajahm Sumedho).
We can reflect as we experience suffering.
We can reflect as we witness suffering.
We can reflect as we respond to suffering with aversion.
We can reflect as we notice our attachment and grasping to desire.
We can be with it all and reflect as we lay it down.
This is the transformational journey of psychotherapy, an opportunity for individual reflection within a relational holding where the felt sense of shared resonance, compassion and mirroring support our personal journey through these layers of reflection.
Letting go opens up a window through which the cessation of suffering can unfold. None of this transformational journey can be scheduled in a diary, be broken into bullet points or intellectually forced upon a client. The timing of the unfolding emerges in it’s own natural way once the client trusts in the presence of the therapist to be with them as they allow the layers to unfold.
To support this, I find comfort in the words of Welwood;
“What I have found, again and again, is that unconditional presence is the most powerful transmuting force there is, precisely because it is a willingness to be there with our experience without dividing ourselves in two by trying to manage what we are feeling.”
Both therapist and client share a willingness to inquire, to acknowledge what is arising in the body and the mind and the field between them both, to name what emerges and to be prepared to stay with it whilst noticing the rejecting or clinging that arises around it.
These words hold true for my experience as therapist.
The third noble truth invites us to recognise that all that rises will also fall away. What arises within my client may be stopped short by my questioning, so if I am able to stay beside her instead of challenging, she may find space for it to fall away naturally as her own process. It is not about tranquillising the feelings or antagonising them, just an opportunity to be with them. Psychotherapy is a courageous willingness to look deeply into things without tripping up into judgement so that we are free to follow the path to understanding at our own pace.
It is the art of the psychotherapist to be an active unconditional presence that allows the window of tolerance within the client to be open to feeling and experience what is ready to be felt and experienced. It is not always easy to be that. Our gift as psychotherapists is the invitation to allow what is subconscious to arise into consciousness. For suffering to process, we must be willing to suffer, to feel doubt, grief, anger, sadness, fear, suppression, shame, jealousy, hate. We invite what we think we can not bear and in bearing it, our window of tolerance expands. There is no need for agenda, all experiences naturally rise and fall away.
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